Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
