lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
our cab driver is having phone sex.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
