i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
