no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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