He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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