How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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