census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
