hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
