That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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