ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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