Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
