So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
My bed smells like the plague
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
