i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
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