I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
