This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
