Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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