The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize