We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize