Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
