my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
