guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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