are you still at the devil's house?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
