How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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