Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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