It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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