I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
