I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
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