The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
