The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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