if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
