New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
