i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
