If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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