yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
