I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
