I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
