Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
