I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
