I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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