all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
