I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
