Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
