I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
