READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
