haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
