its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You took a bar mat shot.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
