this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
