Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Randomize
