Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
