fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
