I feel like abortions should bother me more
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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