Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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