Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
