So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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