There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
