lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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