I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
